crouching males...leaping wolfs

once again i find myself musing, what shall it be this time? this line of conversation is directed at men. They who believe that the world should worship them, yes those species who are completely clueless as to the workings of the female. Sigh, i sincerely thought that i was having a completely harmless conversation with a certain male whom i bumped into last saturday in a friend's house.
i had gone to visit my my late friend's grandmother and while there a certain young man came in, i was able to gather that he was staying in the house with the family for a while just until he gets himself a job. so there i was gisting with mama and trying to be polite to this man when he said he would walk me when i was leaving, i didnt suspect anything. however as we stepped out into the blustery sunny evening he began to  lament about how bored he was...my ears perked up a bit but i played along, he was still crouching playing around the hedges while i had already guessed that he was attracted to me, but nothing prepared me for his leap! from no where he just said he was looking for a girlfriend and before you could say jack robinson, he had asked for me to be his girl! the nerve!!!
the least he could have done was to respect the fact taht he barely knew me, he had met me in a family friend's house and he knew nothig about my relationship to them. i politely told him i could not be his girl and that he should concentrate on getting a job. beleive me, nothing mama told me would have prepared me for the manner in which the guy laepaed at me! mama should have said...

my long week of unawareness

I had a reality flash two weeks ago when i started to feel a general feeling of malaise at the office and had to lie down for a while as the females (and males) doted on me and tried to make me feel comfortable. i suddenly realised that i didnt really know how to take care of my self! i could take absolute good care of practically anyone but when it comes to me, i am helpless!

i had to go to the hospital to be admitted and i felt so helpless, i longed for someone to take care of me, i had to stay at home for a whole week and no one was there to take care of me, i was numb, all i wanted to do was hide under the covers, at that time my independence was not a solace it was a burden. i craved for company, and love and care. i wanted mama.
the week was long and dreary, i struggled to cook for myself, but i couldnt remember how to take care of myself, i then decided to learn, to observe again, perhaps in my haste to grow up i had missed that lesson, learning how to take care of me.
so here i am on a therapy,  a personal attempt to learn anew the act of taking care...of me without mama in tow! wish me luck.

juggling female

I find myself at a loss half of the time, sort of like wondering how long before these balls come crashing down. life was so uncomplicated when i was young, mummy wakes me up, dresses me up for school, i think of only school, and food and play. but fast forward to my life now, if i dont get up in time for my morning run, mama is not going to come running to my aid, i am all of a sudden alone not in teh real sense of the world but yes alone, to decide for myself when i want to get up, if i want to get up, where iwant to worsip , how i want to dress and mama isnt goimg to come looking over my shoulder to murmur "dont you think that is too short?".
i feel that i should have slowed down a bit, savoured the moments when mama was on my case, trying so hard to get me to learn, how to cook, how to administer first aid, how to live with people...sigh, is it too late to bask in mummy's ambience?
i dont think i am doing badly on my own, sometimes forgetting that i didnt have dinner, not calling my friends to keep in touch, its like am on a forgetting spree, the only thing i never forget is how to roll out of bed in the morning..but come to think of it, even that is becoming daunting.
this is not a tribute to mma, no this is just a rant by a female who is trying hard to juggle the balls in her life, she wonders if it wouldnt be better to let one ball fall free, maybe that will make this whole grown up phase go a little faster?

WELCOME FOLKS

Hello there, i have been chewing on this thoughts for sometime, i find that when i was a tee weeny girl i never wanted to remain young, now i am grown and am longing for the warmth of the womb(well maybe not that young)! i believe that so many people often feel this way and we all have our ways of managing our lives. thats why i have started this blog to share with you my insecurities my fears my joys my experiences and you in turn get to share, so that in some fashion, we all grow up together. kinda wish i had listened to mama though and savoured the carefreeness of being a child!